


reaction force

by AlexiaBlackbriar13



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: 6x18 Related, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Felicity Smoak POV, Oliver Queen Has PTSD, Spoilers for season 6
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 17:10:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14289489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexiaBlackbriar13/pseuds/AlexiaBlackbriar13
Summary: “Oliver, leave,” she says, her voice steady and remarkably flat. She won’t let her emotions overcome her. “Get out.”Oliver averts his eyes, fixing them on the floor as he takes a shaky step back.6x18 Spec





	reaction force

**Author's Note:**

> this happened
> 
> edit: should probably mentioned this is unbeta'd as i did basically write it in 30 mins while crying

“Get out,” Felicity orders, her voice firm and unyielding because how _dare_ Oliver speak to her and William that way?

She knows he’s been on the brink of a mental breakdown for a while now because of all the overwhelming things that have been happening… Oliver has been under such immense amounts of pressure due to his mayoral work, his trial coming up and his teammates leaving, but what she’s seeing here - her husband _fuming_ , lashing out at anybody even remotely near him because of all the negative emotions building up inside of him as his PTSD takes over his thoughts - is not acceptable.

What Oliver has said to her and William over the last couple of minutes has been unnecessarily cruel. He’s projecting, she _knows that_ , but she will not stand by and watch him shout at his own son. She won’t stand and say nothing as she sees her husband upset William. She won’t allow him to upset _her_.

Her words cause Oliver to double-take and within seconds, he seems to come back to himself. His rage and anger fade away to reveal an exhaustion and wariness that’s been dragging him down into a dark pit; her husband looks horrified at himself and unspeakably guilty.

Felicity wants to hug him. Reassure him that it’s okay. That everything is going to be okay, and although things seem really, _really_ shitty right now, it’ll get better.

But she can’t.

William is practically hiding behind her, on the verge of tears due to his father’s verbal attack on them, and Felicity knows she has to protect him. She has to protect William and herself. Oliver is not particularly emotionally stable right now and as much as she hates to admit it, when he gets stuck in PTSD episodes like this, there’s a high chance that he can become physically violent. She knows Oliver would never raise a hand to her or William consciously, but when he’s in a PTSD mindset…

“Oliver, leave,” she says, her voice steady and remarkably flat. She won’t let her emotions overcome her. “Get out.”

Oliver averts his eyes, fixing them on the floor as he takes a shaky step back.

“Come back when you’re _not_ going to yell at William and I, despite the fact we’re the only people who have supported you as the world falls apart around you due to no fault of your own. I know that you’re not in a proper state of mind right now and you’re dealing with a _lot_ of nasty emotions, but that doesn’t give you the excuse to say those kind of things, to either of us.”

His breath hitches as he inhales and he quickly lifts both of his hands to rub at his eyes, willing back tears as he mumbles, “Okay.”

Felicity observes him in concern as he stumbles on his way to the door. He almost trips and she tries to move towards him on instinct, wanting to help him. Dread and sadness wash over her as instead of melting into her touch like he normally does, her husband cringes away from her.

“Oliver…”

“I’m - I’m sorry…” He’s crying. He continues making his exit and closes the door behind him.

Swallowing, Felicity wrings her hands together, conflicted. She really wants to go after Oliver and offer him some form of comfort, however he’ll take it from her, but she also knows that it probably won’t be accepted. She’s seen him stuck in a PTSD episode numerous times before, maybe not as bad as this, but she’s had enough experiences with her husband flinching away from her that she doesn’t want to have to go through that again. Because every time Oliver recoils away from her, she feels as if he’s ripping out a tiny piece of her soul.

“Why did Dad say those things?”

William’s voice is so small and there’s a slight tremor as he says the word ‘Dad’ and doesn’t that just yank at Felicity’s heart.

She turns around and engulfs her stepson in a tight hug, threading her fingers through his hair in the same soothing motion she often uses on his father. “I don’t know, kid,” she answers. She hates how choked up she sounds. “He didn’t mean them.”

“Are you sure?” he asks.

Felicity thinks back to everything Oliver said to William, literally spat in his face, and vehemently nods. “Absolutely. Your dad is just… he’s having a rough time of it right now and he’s not dealing with all the anger and frustration he’s pent up because of what’s been going on very well…”

“He must be having a _really_ rough time,” William mutters into her shoulder.

“We explained to you about your dad’s PTSD and depression, right?”

“Oh… he’s having one of those episode things?”

“I think so, buddy.” She buries her face in William’s neck and murmurs to herself, under her breathe, “God, I really hope so.” If Oliver is having a PTSD episode, it’ll pass. She doesn’t want to think about what’s going on in his head if this isn’t an episode.

“Do you think it might be because of… Mr Diggle leaving? And the trial where he has to convince people he’s not the Green Arrow?”

Felicity knows that Diggle leaving has definitely played a part in this. After Diggle left the team, she went back and watched their fight and listened to the audio of their argument to try and get better context for Dig’s statement to Oliver before he quit. What she discovered left her furious. She’s still angry about it now. Diggle said that he would always back Oliver’s play, always had and always would, but then he completely contradicted himself and told Oliver that he didn’t agree with leadership - that he was a _bad_ leader.

She doesn’t know whether or not she’ll ever forgive Diggle for using William and his mother’s death against Oliver in that fight. The expression on his face when Diggle essentially blamed him for Samantha’s death emotionally shattered her.

And of course, Diggle blamed her husband for everything going wrong with Rene, Curtis and Dinah, and the mess with Diaz. He told Oliver he wasn’t a hero. Felicity has spent the better part of six years trying to convince Oliver he’s a good person and a hero, and Diggle destroyed all of her good work in a single argument.

She’s pretty sure that all of the confidence that Oliver has built up over the last couple of years has gone now. Rene, Curtis, Dinah, and Diggle… they all abandoned him. Thea’s left the city with Roy. Quentin barely spends any time with the team now.

She and William are the only people that Oliver has left.

And he just tried to push them away.

Felicity wants to cry, but she has to stay strong. For William.

“There’s been… a lot more going on than you know,” Felicity tells William, who is staring up at her with red-rimmed, tear-filled eyes. Eyes so very blue and so very, very similar to his father’s. “And the only reason we haven’t told you about it all is that Oliver and I have been trying to get to grips with it ourselves. But I promise you once… this is all sorted out, we’ll tell you everything.”

William nods. “Is… Felicity, is Dad going to be okay?”

She’s lost for words for a moment.

Oliver has suffered through so much. He’s lost so many people. He’s been tortured, physically and emotionally. He’s always _fine_. He’s always strong. On the outside. He’s never let people see that on the inside, he’s vulnerable. He’s never let on to people that they hurt him, with their words and actions and betrayals.

Felicity doesn’t know, for the first time ever, whether or not Oliver will be able to bounce back after the hell he’s been through this year.

How can she respond to William that his father will be okay… when she doesn’t even know the answer to that question herself?

**Author's Note:**

> and this ended
> 
> tumblr: @alexiablackbriar13  
> twitter: @lexiblackbriar


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